#txt. brodie lewis

[terrorbitch]

the way her warm hands felt against cooling skin was... well, brodie felt almost like a dog being scratched in the right spot. leaning into her touch so easily, it was second nature. she wondered if fumbling the total love of her life would set her straight, remind her to not become her father. love felt so cold her whole entire life. it seemed like jade made it warm, and brodie wanted to run but after she had... she stayed put. floating, kind of, around her and every relationship she didn't seem to approve of. "that's a depressing statement. for you. but..." but what? she promised not to break her trust again? the words didn't feel right, even if she thought them. even if she believed she wouldn't break it again. she sighed out. "thank you." she said, finally grinning a bit. but it fell for the slightest moment at the kiss. at the end of the day, who was she going home with? the guy who got her a football purse? or the woman who probably loved her more than any sort of love was possible. "yeah, yeah." she waved her off but also used the same hand to intertwine their fingers together and tug her away from the bar and back towards the familiar apartment. at least the night was ending, and she could feel a break up imminent. maybe she would finally admit that they were supposed to be together. "maybe i do deserve you."

JADE'S EXPRESSION TWISTS AT THE WORDS , an almost incredulous huff escaping her before she swallows it . her hands tighten slightly where they are on brodie's shoulders before she catches herself in the motion and consciously loosens her touch, jaw clenching even as she slides gently hands from brodie's shoulders up to the sides of her neck . it's an idle touch, and jade isn't sure if it's purpose is to comfort brodie or herself . either way she can't help but honestly admit, " well, it's kind of too late for that ." she swallows before softly adding, " ... there's no one i trust more than you, brodie ." the truth of the words doesn't make jade feel any less stupid for them . after all, their break up absolutely fucking crushed her at the time . ripped her heart right out in a way that she can still remember . and yet, it was still brodie . brodie who was the first person she wanted to talk to when something went wrong . brodie who was her first call when something went right . brodie who she couldn't imagine living without . who she couldn't force herself to be without, truly . because honestly, after the breakup that should've been it . both of them going their separate ways . cutting things off cold turkey . and yet even then jade couldn't let go . she couldn't let go now either . it was brodie . even if jade doesn't know if she could handle that pain again, she knows that she would trust brodie not inflict that pain again . and maybe that was the problem . " okay, are you getting competitive over his ability to concuss you ?" jade replies with a light roll of her eyes . her lips twitch almost reluctantly and it's then that she forces herself to let it go . she meets brodie's eyes with a halfhearted twinkle in her own . " that's my mistake, brodie . how could i ever think he would be strong enough ?" jade says gently even as she brings her hands up gently to brodie's head to check it over one last time . it's with a softening of her eyes that she nods . " ... okay, sure . i'll play nurse for the night then ." it's then that she leans in to press a soft kiss to brodie's cheekbone, pulling back with a sincere, " thank you ." a smile . "for humoring me ."

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @persephonyed.

"hey, uh, thanks for... keeping an eye on billie." there was a slight look of guilt on her face as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, the elementary school teacher coming out of the bathroom a few minutes later. "ice cream? on me?"

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @persephonyed

"seriously, dad? go fuck yourself... she's twelve fuckin' years old...." she paused for a moment, before deciding to just hang up the phone. "i live with three other girls, how the fuck am i gonna take care of a pre-teen?"

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @sungoesdcwn

"your new man is pretty, isn't he?" she's pulling the other into a private room, smirking. "y'know, i hear it gets real lonely in the closet... bet he doesn't go down on you as good as i used to."

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @prettymvgic

"i'm sorry for staring at you all night, but... man. i have never seen someone more beautiful in my life. i may save lives for a living, but you just saved mine by makin' me believe angels walk this earth. so... thank you."

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @dcaddove

"shit, didn't know you had a boyfriend." ⎯⎯ "does he know my dick is bigger than his?"

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @copingmchnsm

"your little boyfriend doesn't like me, huh? he's got nothin' to worry about, honestly... you're not even my type."

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @in-de-cent

"what's wrong...? did something happen? it's five in the fuckin' morning, dude."

[terrorbitch]

closed started for @springbreezc

"c'mon, dude... you can't be mad at me. i made you cum, like, six times last week."

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @scinglives

"oh... shit. i didn't know you knew marissa. uh, how have you been? sorry for, uh, leaving without... uh, saying anything? my cat got the flu and i had to dip out like, right away."

[terrorbitch]

closed starter for @eroticismx

"i thought you were cool with the whole, like... no strings attached thing. you know i'm not a girlfriend kinda girl, right?"

[terrorbitch]

open to: w & nb.

plot: brodie just got in a physical fight with your muse's boyfriend, and because she threw the first punch she got kicked out.

suggested connections: best friend, ex, current fwb, etc.

despite the black eye forming and the busted, bleeding lip .... brodie was acting just fine. maybe it was the adrenaline from the alcohol. "it's not my fault your boyfriend has a tiny dick and anger issues," she half shouted, hoping he'd hear even though he was likely in the back with his macho man buddies. she wiped the blood from her mouth and then laughed a little. "fuck, haven't gotten in a good fight like that in a while. maybe i should start shit with more hyper-masculine douche bags."

[terrorbitch]

it was hard to believe only because brodie could never forgive herself for hurting jade in the way that she did. so she took it out on the other people who hurt her but didn’t care when they hurt her. it wasn’t like brodie was really looking for a relationship after her. the only time she would take someone home was out of spite, seeing jade having fun with her dates or her boyfriends, or whoever it was. but if she had a choice, she would always choose jade. even if nothing happened, even if they were going to watch a movie and fall asleep on each other. she knew she was absolutely fucked in any regard. “i don’t trust myself, okay? and you shouldn’t either. i could try to be a good partner again… and then fuck it up, and hurt you even worse than before.” she got so scared of having such deep feelings for someone, that she often ran away. jade was impossible to run away from. and it made it so much harder to deny herself the satisfaction of being with her because jade knew how to make her feel better about every single thing. “i’ve been hit in the head with a bowling ball, fallen from four stories and haven’t gotten concussed. he barely threw a punch. don’t overestimate his strength; he couldn’t give me a concussion.” she scoffed a little, and then realized that she was just trying to take care of her and her expression softened. “but… just to be sure, don’t let me fall asleep. and get me some ice, and i’ll be happy as a clam. you can be my own personal nurse.”

IT STINGS A BIT . more than jade wants it to and more than she's willing to admit . it stings even as she goes easily at the pull of brodie's hands on her hips, as her own hands fit themselves comfortably on brodie's shoulders as they have a thousand times before . but the thing is, jade doesn't even know what the hell to do with that pain . some part of her wants to lash out . but that same part of her is simultaneously being soothed by brodie's touch . the cycle of emotions has her sighing deeply, jaw twitching a bit as she looks purposefully away from brodie's eyes . " you could be good for me though ." the words are more defeated than insistent . it's something that jade has said before and likely something she will say again . jade's jaw clenches before she's meeting brodie's eyes intently, before this time she is insisting, " you could ." it feels useless but jade feels the need to say it anyways, her hands finding both sides of brodie's neck as she says, " i know you don't fucking believe me but — you could, brodie . you're not this —" jade shakes her head . " irredeemable piece of shit you seem to see yourself as . you're good ." and that's the thing, isn't it ? because brodie is capable of being a good partner . of making her happy . brodie might not see it, but jade is sure of it . she knows it even now, after all of it, and the idea of brodie maybe finally realizing that, of her maybe finally being the partner that jade always knew she could be for someone else — well . jade isn't sure she'll be as content to watch that as brodie seems to be and that alone leaves a bitter taste in her mouth that she tries desperately to swallow upon hearing brodie's invitation . it takes a moment for her to inhale deeply , to nod . " ... yeah, okay ." a pause as jade's face scrunches in concern again , a hand going gingerly to brodie's face , to her injury . " you sure we don't need to stop at the hospital or something ?" her brows furrow . " you're not ... concussed ?"

[terrorbitch]

"i just don't understand what you see in guys like that." though, it was probably unfair to go from the gayest lesbian in town to a man that didn't like eating pussy. she knew she had at least one thing over him, despite her constant need to 'out masc' him. "asking me to not get into fights is like asking a cat not to smack a glass of water off of the counter," she muttered, leaning into her and trying to ignore the pain throbbing in her head. "he's a loser, and i'd go back in there and fuck him up again if they hadn't just kicked me out of the bar."

" brodie, shut the fuck up, you're going to make it worse " there is a reason why catherine was taking care of her best friend and not the man in the other side of the room, and that's because cate was not in a relationship anymore, not after that night. " although you're not lying, he has a tiny dick. plus, i haven't been properly eaten out in like . . . forever. i did a ton of heavy lifting in that relationship " she reveals with a tiny grin, overwhelmed by everything around her but definitely amused by the trashtalking. " maybe don't get into fights anymore , please ? let's get out of here before you end up killing someone "

[terrorbitch]

even though brodie wanted to pull away, she just leaned into the touch, desperate for that form of comfort. the kind that it seemed only jade could give her. she clung onto it whenever she could get it, whether it was after her trying to get involved physically with a boyfriend or just small moments that could be tossed aside and forgotten. brodie didn't like being the source of heartbreak and deep feelings for jade. she swore up and down that she tried her hardest to be the worst person ever for her, and yet this conversation circled them again. brodie too terrified she wouldn't be good enough for jade, but knowing damn well no one in the world could be. "yeah? i mean, yeah. yeah i would fucking watch. 'cause then you'd finally be happy and not treated like shit. or hoping that i'd be someone i'm not. someone good for you." she offered, because she did know jade would never leave. she grabbed her hips, fingers sinking into flesh as she pulled her against herself. needily. brodie would ignore the guilt in the back of her head telling her jade wasn't hers anymore. but wasn't she? "we know we don't work but we love each other anyway. so... yeah. i'm gonna chase off every fucking asshole until that perfect person walks in. and, yeah, i'm gonna happily watch." but that wasn't true. brodie would be seething with jealousy, she might actually run away for good. it was easy watching jade with these losers, knowing she was the better option. ".....can you come home with me, now? salvage what's rest of your birthday, watch your movie?"

FOR A MOMENT JADE CAN DO NOTHING but scan brodie's face as she speaks, her heart in her throat and her breath caught as she tries to process the string of words rapidly leaving brodie's mouth . it's all she can do not to do something stupid, or pathetic or maybe both, and in hindsight it's probably for the best . by the time brodie's finished jade kind of feels like her heart's been run over all over again . she didn't even realize she had her hopes up until they were crushed once more . " brodie ." jade starts with a sigh as she closes her eyes . she pulls her hands from brodie's wrists in hopes that it might cut off the thrum of energy between them, that it might alleviate that stupid sinking feeling in her stomach, because this was all so deeply fucking stupid . when will she ever learn ? her hands scrub over her face in what's half exasperation and half a valiant attempt not to do something ridiculous like tear up . it takes a moment for jade to compose herself enough to say, " this isn't fair . you're not being fair ." jade moves to sweep her hair out of her face, tucking the bulk of it behind her ears as she finally meets brodie's gaze again . she can feel her pulse in her mouth even as she says, " i'm always going to love you, brodie . you know that ." jade's voice cracks under the weight of the words . she swallows as she gestures with a hand in frustration . " and i'm never going to leave you . i couldn't even if i tried — and i think we both know that too !" jade's huff of breath is almost incredulous . " so what ? we're just going to — orbit each other forever as you wait for me to finally meet this perfect person and chase off anyone who's not good enough ?" jade looks into brodie's eyes, her brows arching in frustration . her voice is almost soft considering . " what are you going to do when i meet them, brodie ? watch ?"